Depression

Matthew 17:20


Good morning pals! I hope y’all’s week has been wonderful!

Depression, in the church a lot of the time it is kind of a taboo subject, but it shouldn’t be. It’s real, it’s an illness, and it sucks…a lot. It can make you feel numb, hopeless, completely unmotivated, unworthy, unimportant, not good enough; it can make getting out of bed, showering, brushing your teeth, eating, walking up a flight of stairs, talking to another person, doing simple tasks all seem like an impossible mission. Bad dark spells can last for hours or even months.

This week and especially weekend my depression was the worst it had been in a very long time. This weekend I was completely alone, which triggers my depression so add that to an already rough week, it got so bad that I was actually fearful I wouldn’t make it through. I’ve struggled with self harm since I was 12, and haven’t cut in almost a year but I was very tempted to this weekend. On Sunday I decided that I was going to shower and get dressed and go on an adventure even if I was alone (which I turned out to be), because usually both showers and adventures help. I decided to drive around KC until I found something pretty to take pictures of (I’m attempting get into photography) I ended up finding a cool area downtown, I was up on a bridge taking pictures and I strongly considered jumping off, but praise the Lord I didn’t, praise the Lord that every person that I care about ran through my head, praise the Lord that I saw a little girl looking up at me taking pictures, praise the Lord I saw a butterfly that made me remember how beautiful God’s artwork is. Right after I got off the bridge, I ended up running into one of my friends. He had no clue that I was struggling, or what I had come so close to doing moments before, but just seeing someone that I knew cared about me was a total God send.  I still was not doing well at all when I got back to camp, so I texted a woman that the same friend had suggested I meet with, because she mentors young ladies. She talked with me and prayed over me/with me and y’all I have never felt the Holy Spirit like that before. The Lord is good and he knew exactly what I needed even at my darkest times, ever since she prayed over me I have been filled with joy and peace that can only come from the Lord.

Whatever you are going through please know the Lord is there, please know that God is good, and only good things come from him, illness is bad and therefore pray to the Lord for him to take it away, in the name of Jesus, and believe that He will do it. “Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11: 23-24

Also if you are struggling with depression or thoughts of self harm Please stay, please know you are loved, that you are enough, please know that you are here for a purpose if you are struggling with that (or any thing else for that matter) I would love to pray for you/with you. You can message me on Facebook Noelle Joy Burke. 

LOVE Y’ALL

~Noelle 

Jeremiah 29:12

Love 💕

Good morning lovely ladies and gentlemen, I hope that your week has been good, and I hope that your long weekend was relaxing. 
Love, we use it pretty loosely a lot of the time; I love pizza, I love that band, I love that shirt, etc. But love is a tiny word with huge meaning. 

Now don’t get me wrong you’ll hear me say I love *insert object* a lot, but I shouldn’t if I don’t actually love the thing. You’ll also hear me say I love *insert person* and that I mean with every bone in my body, I love my friends like most people do, I love my family also like most people do. But I am very quick to love, I’ve told a new friend that I loved them after less than 24 hours of knowing them, and I do. I would tell my cabin full of campers last year that I loved them every night and I did, with all of my heart. Obviously we all have different levels/types of love. When I told my campers or friends I loved them I didn’t want to marry them, obviously a friend that I’ve known for 7 years vs. 24 hours I love on a deeper level because I’ve known them longer. And obviously there is romantic love which is a whole different kind. 

This weekend I was in my first wedding, and it happened to be my best friend’s. I’ve known her since 6th or 7th grade, I love her so much and I am so happy she has found a man that loves her like she deserves. Their wedding was full of love, the ceremony was performed by the groom’s mentor/father figure, during the ceremony not only did they exchange vows saying how much they loved each other, but they demonstrated it by washing each other’s feet. The reception had so many toasts and speeches full of love, and you could feel the love all around the room. 

As christians we have the perfect example of love; “this is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” 1 john 3:16

Here’s the deal, firstly you don’t know what everyone else is going through so you don’t know who needs love, you don’t know if you are the only person that is giving them love. Secondly you don’t know how long that person has, so if you love them in any way tell them. Life is short, love hard and love well. But doing that doesn’t come without pain, when you love hard and fast you will get hurt, and it’ll hurt badly, but you have to keep loving, just as Christ loves us. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7


Love y’all,

~Noelle 

Here’s my Heart


Good morning friends! I hope that you’re week has been filled with joy that only the Holy Spirit can give!

So on Monday night I started my summer at Youthfront Camp West, for those of you who know me, or who have read my blogs you know that Youthfront has been a huge influence on my life for over 7 years now. This is my second summer on staff, and I could not be more excited. However, as I was preparing for camp this year I didn’t feel like I was totally in the right mindset, I had so many things to do before camp, leave my job, pack up my apartment and move into my house for the fall, clean my apartment, pack for camp, etc. I was so stressed preparing physically for all of this that I had forgotten to prepare my heart for camp. This year because I am a returner, I am a leader (or so I’ve been told even if it doesn’t quite feel like it.) Also I am in a different position this year, which gives me more time to pour into other staff’s lives, So I knew that I would be one of the ones welcoming and encouraging  the new people I knew I would be and wanted to be one of the one’s who throughout the summer talked to other staff and asked how I could be praying for them and then did it, I wanted to be able to see how and when people were struggling and find ways to encourage them. But my heart wasn’t in it yet. Maybe it was because it felt like camp came so quickly, or maybe it was the devil but either way my to do list had gotten in the way of preparing for camp spiritually.

But at the end of last week it came to my attention how quickly camp was approaching and how my heart was not there yet. So this weekend all the way to when I arrived at camp on Monday evening I found myself praying over and over, “Lord let this summer be for you, and you’re glory, let me be an encouragement to fellow staff, campers, teen staff, and parents, and above all Lord here is my heart, take it and do you’re will.” It was one of those prayers that just kind of comes out without you really thinking about it, like the Lord is speaking right through you. But as I was saying it the first time, I wanted with all of my heart for it to be true. I wanted the Lord to take my heart and do his will, no matter what that looked like. I don’t know if you’ve ever prayed a prayer like that, but it’s scary because he is God and when I say whatever, he could do literally whatever, but that goes back to last week’s blog about trusting him.

So I know probably most of you aren’t at camp right now, but I hope that wherever you are you give God you’re heart to do his will, no matter what. Because guys, he’s God so ya it’s scary to say do whatever, but his plan is so so much better than ours ever could be, so it’s gonna be great!

Love y’all!

~Noelle

Trust 


Good morning friends, I hope you all have a had a wonderful week!! Also two blogs in one week!! Wohoo!
Life can be scary and stressful, but we have a good God who has never and will never forsake us. Right now I’m putting all my trust in the Lord as I’m about to go to camp, while paying rent and monthly bills which is going to make life quite stressful and money quite tight this summer. But I am remembering that he has always and will always provide for me, he’s never failed me and He promised that he won’t. I know that camp is where God wants me, I know that it’s going to be great. But right now all I can think about is everything I have to do before camp, everything I have to pay for, and will I have enough money for everything. 

If you’re going through something similar, whether it’s because you are doing something new and the transition will cost, or whether that’s just the stage of life you’re in, remember that it’s going to be ok because God is faithful, and sovereign and he will take care of you. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but God will take care of you.

  • 2 Samuel 7:28 “Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.”
  • Psalm 31:14 “But I trust in you, LORD; I say, “You are my God.”
  • Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Sovereign (lyrics) 2013 Chris Tomlin – YouTube

Lauren Daigle – Trust In You – YouTube 

Oceans (Where Feet May FaiI) – YouTube

Whatever you are going through in life remember the Lord is faithful, remember to trust in him and everything will be ok.

Love y’all!

~Noelle

Mother’s Day


Good morning and happy Mother’s day to all the moms!

Every year we set aside one day to thank all of the mothers in our lives, it’s a very important day, but also a hard day for many. Some have lost their mothers, some don’t have a relationship with theirs, some have been hurt so deeply by their mom that watching all the happy moms and kids is like pouring lemon juice into a cut, some of them know it’s their last Mother’s day with a mom or as a mom, and some are mothers without their babies because they gave them up for adoption, they were taken away, or because they’re fighting for our freedom, or maybe their babies (no matter what age their child was when they died) live in heaven.

For those of you that have read my story that I posted a few weeks ago, or if you know me in person, you probably know that this day is hard for me, because in October of 2015 I had an early miscarriage. I am not proud of the fact that I had sex before marriage, and so I hid my miscarriage from most people for over a year. But I realized we all have our mistakes and they are part of our story so I begin sharing mine.  I didn’t know I was pregnant beforehand,and so I didn’t get to know my baby and because of that people have told me I don’t get to grieve, or ask me why do I even care? One person in particular made me feel (and even told me I was) crazy for caring, and for naming a baby I never met. But let me tell you why I get to grieve, and why I care, because I believe life starts at conception and therefore even though I didn’t know until it was too late, I had a baby which makes me a mom. Because of that I named my baby, Davin Autumn which means much loved, born in the fall. I’ll never know if my baby was a boy or a girl, if they would have been tall or short, what their laugh or cry would’ve sounded like. But I know this, I love them with all of my heart, even though I didn’t get to meet them, even though they live in heaven.

Because my miscarriage was so early, and because I didn’t tell many people, I had no closure. But a couple of weeks ago my sweet and talented roommate helped me get a little bit. I released some balloons with a letter to my sweet baby and some bible verses attached, and my roommate photographed it. Whether Davin can see them or not I don’t know, but I know that it helped me, I know that it was therapeutic for me . Now I have a little bit of closure (all that I will ever get).


So there’s some more of my story, I hope that if today is hard for you, you will reach out to a friend and not be alone, if you need to talk please know that I am here for you God gave me 2 pretty great ears, whether I know you or not. Below is a song that I love by JJ Heller called “Oliviana” https://youtu.be/fFh2RloTtpY

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

To all the mommies, happy Mother’s day just in case nobody tells you

Much love to all y’all💛❤️

~Noelle


Summer Bod

Good morning beautiful people! So just a fair warning this week’s blog is somewhat more focused on the ladies but guys you are welcomed too.

How many times in the past 2 ish months have you heard the phrase “summer bod”, because let me tell you, being surrounded by almost all women, I’ve heard it a lot. Around this season people starve themselves,  workout unhealthily, or they don’t do anything and just complain about how they don’t look like they want to. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice or wanting to improve your health or image, but when it’s all you think about or when it becomes unhealthy that’s when it becomes a problem.

Ladies we are told every day, multiple times a day that we aren’t skinny enough, tan enough, tall enough, our hair isn’t the right style or color, we need to wear makeup, but not too much, the list goes on and on. Let me tell you I fall into this trap a lot, I’m too short, too fat,  too pale, my hair and clothes aren’t the right style. (Guys if you’re still reading all the rest is for you too!) But let me tell you something, that’s the world telling us that, God says we are perfect the way we are, Genesis 1:27 says: “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” We are made in the image of God (how freaking cool is that) God made you and he doesn’t make mistakes, so when He made you as tall or short, tan or pale, blonde or brunette, size 1 or size 16, he made you, you and you are perfect. So don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Your summer bod is whatever bod you have, and it’s perfect.

Below are some of my favorite christian songs that remind me that I am beautiful the way I am, I hope you enjoy them and I hope they remind that You my dear are a lovely work of art who is worth more than gold, and there could never be a more beautiful you.

“Words are bouncin’ ’round my head I can’t stop their echoing Trippin’ on that negative. But You call me lovely. You say I’m wonderfully made. Your river floods me. Your Words feel like a serenade. I love that You are thinkin’ of me. All of those voices fade away. When You call me lovely” Hollyn – Lovely (Official Audio Video) – YouTube

“There could never be a more beautiful you. Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through. You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do. So there could never be a more beautiful you, more beautiful you” More Beautiful You Jonny Diaz Lyrics – YouTube

“I know you, I know you Don’t think you’re beautiful, Cause we don’t look like The girls on the cover of Vogue But I wish I, I wish I Could show you what I see Like a, a mirror to a fine painting You got it A work of art.” Britt Nicole – Work of Art (Lyric Video) – YouTube

“So don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not loved And don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not enough Yeah, there are days when we all feel like we’re messed up But that truth is that we’re all diamonds in the rough.” Britt Nicole – Gold – YouTube

“Don’t you know that you’re God’s original work of art, yes you are
So don’t ever let them tell you that you’re less than wonderful Cause you’re a one and only Yeah, You’re every little bit, every little bit of lovely”Jamie Grace – Every Bit of Lovely https://youtu.be/BibaunWOWMw

 

Go jump in a lake because You’re beautiful and so is the weather!!!

Love y’all!

~Noelle

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing, sky, child, ocean, outdoor, nature and waterImage may contain: ocean, sky, outdoor, nature and waterImage may contain: one or more people, ocean, sky, plant, outdoor, nature and waterImage may contain: ocean, sky, tree, outdoor, nature and water

The Future

Psalm 94:19

Good morning y’all! I hope you all have had a great week! And I hope that you have remembered how incredibly priceless you are!

Let’s talk about the future, it’s something everyone thinks about everyday usually multiple times a day. Whether you’re thinking about the small stuff like what to have for dinner, what you’re doing after work/school, what fun thing can you do this weekend, or you could be thinking about the future on a much bigger scale, where to go to college, what job to get, where to live, who you’re going to marry etc. A lot of times the future is something that is scary, because it is unknown. We can plan for it all we want, but in all honesty we have no clue what is going to happen. According to the old saying we know two things are certain, death and taxes. And honestly, it’s true to some extent.

I think for anyone, not knowing is scary, but for someone who has anxiety it’s awful, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world, not knowing little things like what time everyone else is getting to an event, how everyone will be dressed, or what time something will end, and obviously it’s even worse the bigger the thing…not knowing what your life will look like is sometimes so scary it’s crippling.  

For those of you who don’t know, my life has been crazy for the past couple of years, specifically this year. I decided college wasn’t for me this past summer, got a big girl job, and moved to a new city, while trying to figure out what the next step is for me. For the first time since the beginning of freshman year in high school I’ve been single longer than a month. And I took a leap of faith this summer to go back to camp (which is a huge pay decrease than my current job), I still have to pay rent and bills and even though I love camp with all of my heart, it’s scary to take that leap of faith that He will provide. With everything It’s been really hard to trust that the Lord has a plan, that He will provide, but He always has, and I know he always will. It’s also been really good and encouraging to see how He has provided financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” The Lord has a plan and it’s a good one, it’s better than we could ever dream, so for now we just have to trust and obey.

The future is scary, but it’s a lot less scary when you remember who is in control, and praise the Lord it isn’t me. When you’re scared that you’ll be alone forever, or you won’t find what you’re good at, or whatever you struggle with, rest in the Lord and be patient. The Lord knows best and he cares for you. He’s got this.

Below are some of my favorite verses and songs to calm anxiety about the future, I hope they bring peace to you.

 

  • “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
  • “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19
  • “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
  • “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Proverbs 12:25 
  • “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Luke 12:22-26

The Future might be scary, but it’s worth the fight. So please keep fighting.

Have a great week,

Love y’all!

~Noelle

“All things” – Citizen Way

“Never Let Go” Matt Redman