Valentine’s Day♥️

Today is my second Valentine’s Day being single since I was in 8th grade, and while watching everybody get flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, and jewelry from their significant others, makes me miss having a romantic relationship. This is still one of my favorite holidays (although pretty much every holiday is my favorite). But this holiday is all about love (duh), not just a romantic love, but showing love to your friends and family a little more than usual. My number one love language for showing love is gift giving (which is probably why I love holidays so much), so having a day that’s all about showing love and giving gifts, I’m all about it.

But there is one thing that makes me love Valentine’s Day, a day all about love even more, and it’s no small thing. It’s the fact that the creator of the universe loves me enough to die for me, he loves me enough to show off for me with his artwork; sunsets, sunrises, stars, the snow, leaves, trees, and flowers. He made so many beautiful colors just for us to enjoy, to remind us he loves us, he’s thinking about us, and that he is here with us. He is and always will be my first love, he has never nor will he ever leave me, even though I have left him countless times. He will never hurt me, he will never hit me, he will never lie to me, he will never abuse me in any way, he will never break a promise, he will never change his mind, he is always protecting and thinking of me. And guess what, he is doing the exact same thing for you! He loves us so much he sent his only son, the only person that has or will ever walk the earth and be completely sinless and yet he died a death meant for the lowliest of sinners, for us. He is always there for us.

God is Love (1 John 4:8) and “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So whether you’ve found the one whom your soul has longed for (Song of Solomon 3:4), or whether you are as single as can be, you already have the greatest love that exists. Remember that this Valentine’s Day and show that same love to the people around you.

If this day is hard for you know you are loved, but know that you are here for a purpose, you belong, you are wanted, you are enough. If you are struggling please seek help from a trusted friend or mentor or call the number listed below for the national suicide hotline. please stay, please keep fighting.

National suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255


You Are Enough.


Good mornin’ y’all!

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged, in fact it hasn’t been since last year (sorry I had to say it, even though its a not funny, overly used New Year’s pun). But I truly hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. I also hope your 2018 is off to a wonderful start!

I got a new mug this weekend (pictured above), and it inspired this post. The Lord used this mug, in a store to get a hold of me because I had distanced myself from Him for a couple of weeks and wasn’t listening to Him. Isn’t it funny what God uses to reach us sometimes, because we wont listen and then get mad at Him for being ‘distant’.

.Something that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember is trying to be enough for everyone around me. I’ve never felt like I could achieve that. I was trying to please my parents, my teachers, my sister, my friends, my grandparents, my church, The Lord, and I always came in last. I also let what others said and thought of me and what they did add to my feelings of not measuring up to everyone’s expectations.

I’ve connived myself that the reason people acted a certain way is because I wasn’t good enough, I was asking for too much, I was too clingy or too annoying. I thought this earlier this week and my sister sent something to me that said, “You aren’t asking for too much you just aren’t asking the right person.” That really hit home and made me stop and think, God created me and gave me my personality, I am the only me, so if somebody doesn’t think I’m good enough why should I care? Nobody can please everybody all the time, and that is ok! Because the only person who’s approval we need is God’s and He gave it to me when I ask Jesus to be my savior, and He will give it to you if you do the same. And the one and only person we should be concerned about pleasing is God.

Naturally we are going to want to please our friends and family, and that is good and healthy to an extent, because we respect them and we are supposed to obey. But if it is constantly draining and you feel like you can never measure up, look upand remember that God  says you were bought by His one and only son’s blood and that is enough! You are enough! No matter what anybody says or does (Ladies did you hear me?! NO MATTER WHAT A GUY SAYS OR DOES YOU ARE ENOUGH!) No matter what you have done, or what has been done to you, and if somebody doesn’t agree then they just aren’t the right person. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesian 2:10

In the past year and a half I have especially struggled with wondering if I could ever be good enough for my church or my family, but especially if I could ever be good enough to meet a wonderful Christian man to fall in love with and have a family with. After all I’m not the ‘perfect’ christian girl everybody thought I was. I’m too much to handle, after all I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, Rheumatoid Arthritis, not to mention, I didn’t save myself for marriage, I’ve had a miscarriage and I was raped. I am broken, could I ever be good enough for a good man to want me? the answer is, of course! Because we all make mistakes, we all have things we regret, we all have baggage, we are all cracked or broken and if the creator of the universe  who has never sinned can look at me and say: I forgive you, I want you, I love you, I fixed you, I made you clean, you are redeemed. Then so can any human, even though I know that sometimes it’s still hard to believe. But it is true for me and for you, all you need is God. Below is the link to one of my favorite songs, Jamie Grace’s “Daughter of the King” the first time I heard this song I started sobbing because sometimes I get so caught up this world that I forget God isn’t just my savior, He is my daddy, and The King of Kings making me that daughter of a King and you too (son is you are a guy).

I hope that this reminded you, that you are enough and you are not alone.

Love y’all!


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Finding Peace

Happy Wednesday friends!


“The Beauty of Your Peace” by Tim hughes 

I hope y’all had a great week! This week has been a little crazy for me, I left camp on Thursday and immediately came back to Manhattan and started my job as a nanny for triplets the next day. Between figuring out my new job, getting my room and house organized I feel like I haven’t had to time to stop and think and when I’ve had time to rest I haven’t been good about doing my devotions, which leads to me feeling drained and stressed.

Yesterday morning on the way to work I was stressed and in a hurry, the sun was just starting to rise and it was absolutely beautiful. Even though the drive was kind of crazy and stressful because I was running a little late, as soon as I saw the sunrise I was reminded to be still and remember how good our God is. I was still driving, but I found peace and comfort in God’s artwork this morning. The rest of the day was pretty chill, I was able to start organizing my room but I did it at a rather slow pace while listening to worship music and once again I was able to enjoy peace that only comes from God. And in the evening I got to catch up with a friend while relaxing and getting our nails done, the entire day was filled with a peace that can only come from God.

The past few months have been crazy and the opposite of peaceful but when I took the time to seek out peace it was always right there, even sometimes when I didn’t take the time to look for it God gave it to me through sun rises, or a starry night.

Whatever you are going through, no matter how crazy your life is right now, take a second and find peace in Christ, whether that is through a sunrise on the way to work or a good Godly conversation with a pal, take the time and find it, because for a lot of people this season is one of the craziest and in the crazy we need rest and peace, the Lord will meet you where you are, but sometimes you have to seek Him out. Along with finding peace remember to have time alone with The Lord and rest in Him, because it is so so important.


Love y’all!


Reading The Christian


C.S Lewis 

Good morning friends! I hope that y’all’s week has been great and you have remembered  to enjoy every second as though it is your last.

My senior year of high school we had to come up with a senior quote to put under our picture in the yearbook. As I was researching quotes I came upon one that quickly became my motto, “Out of 100 men, one will read the bible the other 99 will read the Christian.” D.L. Moody. I think that this is an important quote because we as Christians need to live like we have something different, because we do, but also because people are watching us wanting to know what’s so special about us, why they need Jesus.

If we are walking around just like everybody else, living like we don’t have Christ. There is nothing different about us, and there is no apparent reason for people to come to know Jesus. We are told to be in the world but not of it. So be in the world, but be different, be a light.  Of course we are going to have our flaws, we all sin. But we should let God shine through our hard and broken times, that’s what makes us different.

So shine bright, because somebody is probably watching you and reading you, let them see Him.

Romans 12:2

Love y’all



Youthfront Is Home 💚

Good mornin’ friends!

Something that I’ve had to come to terms with this summer and more specifically the past couple of weeks, is that I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what this afternoon holds, tomorrow holds, or next year holds. I can plan for it all I want, I can dream, hope, and pray about it, I can work as hard as humanly possible for what I want, but that doesn’t mean it will happen. The only person that knows what the future holds is God.

Specifically I’ve been learning this through realizing this might be my last summer at camp, if you know me at all you know how hard that is for me to even think about. I guess I always knew at some point I would have to leave camp, but I don’t think I realized that the point would come so soon. At the beginning of this summer I came into camp just thinking it’s another summer, and I was so excited, I even started thinking about what position I might want to apply for next year. But now as we are at the end of our second to last week I am finding myself begging for time to slow down, begging for more time here, for summer to start all over so I can do small things differently, realizing now that this could be it for me at the place that I love so dearly, the place that I call home.

If you don’t know me, or don’t know my story you might be curious as to why this camp is so important to me, so let me tell you. When I was in 6th grade I didn’t have a lot of friends, the Church camp I went to the previous year was less than great, my home life was not great, and I was not in the best place mentally.  I was very nervous coming to Youthfront with my church, because I didn’t really know anybody in my group, but also excited because my first church camp was fantastic, and I had heard great things about Youthfront. My anxiety was through the roof the entire 3.5 hour drive it took to get to camp, but as soon as I stepped outside of the van an immediate peace fell over me. After probably 20 minutes of being at camp I remember turning to my church leader and saying “I’m going to work here when I’m older”, they kinda gave me the ‘look’ you know the one of saying “ya ok kid you’re in 6th grade calm down.” That week I was loved on by my cabin leaders and the girls in my cabin more than I think I’d ever been loved on before. I saw a community of people that loved each other, but loved Jesus so much more. And I had the best week of my life! The next two years I came back and had similar experiences, the more I came, the more I fell in love with Youthfront Camp West. I continued going to camp at the high school camp, Youthfront Lacygne (then south) and volunteering at West with Teen Staff until my junior year of high school when my church changed camps and I couldn’t afford to drive 3 hours with a full time job in the summer. Those 3 years without youthfront were 3 of the worst years of my life, not necessarily because I didn’t have camp, but not having that community made them even harder.

Last summer my dream came true and I got to be a cabin leader for the summer, this year I got to come back on program staff and be more behind the scenes as one of the office managers/program assistant, which I love. Youthfront is so special to me because of the love and support I experience every time I’m here. But it’s also so important because God used Youthfront as a huge part in my life. When I was a camper I began to talk about my home life for the first time, as a Teen Staff I shared for the first time that I had been struggling with self harm for several years, and as a staff both years I started sharing more and more of my story. At camp something bad always seems to happen, but with each hard thing I was supported and loved more than I knew possible, I was prayed over and reminded that the Lord is good and faithful no matter what, and He is bigger than anything I could ever face, and I never have to face it alone. I say this in all seriousness, God used Youthfront to save my life and I don’t know where I would be without Youthfront. I wanted to be staff because I wanted to serve this camp that the Lord used to help me. I wanted to make sure that campers felt the love of God that I got to feel as a camper/teen staff.

Earlier this summer someone told me to live like it’s my last summer just in case. I’m so glad I’ve done that for the most part, I don’t know what will happen next summer, I don’t know if this is my last summer here, I don’t know if I’ll get to come back to volunteer if it is. But I know that every second I’ve spent here, I’ve grown closer to God, I’ve loved more, and felt more love than anywhere else. I know that the 29 weeks I’ve spent here over the course of my life have been some of the best 29 weeks I’ve ever had. I know that without a doubt Youthfront Camp West is doing amazing things for the Lord and I am honored that I got to be a very small part of that for even a moment. Youthfront Camp West is my home, and the community is my family. Even though it’s hard to think about ever leaving this place even if it’s just for the school year, the Lord has an amazing plan for me and my life, and He has one for you and your life too.

I encourage you to live like it’s your last summer, month, day, second, because honestly it could be. Whether that is because God has something different in store for you, or whether your time here on earth is done. We aren’t guaranteed our next breath, so live every second to the fullest, because when you look back you don’t want to have regrets. So trust in God, even when it’s hard and you don’t understand why things are happening. 

John 13:7

Jeremiah 29:11

Lyrics to “Set a Fire” by Jesus Culture


Love y’all